Our society is broken. Pointing fingers back and forth between parents and schools is a great way to ensure that nothing gets fixed. We need to take evidence-based approaches to both the parenting styles and educational practices that lead to the best outcomes. There’s a lot of disagreement on what parenting styles are best, but we can at least clarify that allowing kids some freedom and responsibility is not criminal and should not involve CPS. We need to carefully consider how to deal with the fact that most parents need to work, even more so those who for whatever reason are raising kids alone (not a new phenomenon - many of my relatives in my grandparents’ and great-grandparents’ generations grew up in single parent homes after a parent died or abandoned the family, and at least one grew up in an orphanage with neither parent). For schools we have a clearer view of what worked in the recent past. More age-appropriate instruction (it’s as useless to teach 5 year olds to read as it is to teach 6 month olds to walk - a few might get it but the rest just won’t until they’re ready and in the meantime they missed spending time on what they should be learning at that age). More recess so kids can focus. More creative and engaging assignments. More teacher autonomy. Fewer screens, worksheets, and teaching to a test. More enforcement of rules and due dates. (You’re not doing kids any favors letting them put off work until later.)
Honestly, I wish I could go back and not let my kids anywhere near public schools. I definitely share some of the blame - somehow I should have made sure she had the right social skills to avoid bullying, and the confidence and values not to be vulnerable to indoctrination. But she never should have faced that at school, either. The world our kids live in is so much harsher than the one we grew up in, and the adults are sometimes as bad as the kids.
Our society is broken. Pointing fingers back and forth between parents and schools is a great way to ensure that nothing gets fixed. We need to take evidence-based approaches to both the parenting styles and educational practices that lead to the best outcomes. There’s a lot of disagreement on what parenting styles are best, but we can at least clarify that allowing kids some freedom and responsibility is not criminal and should not involve CPS. We need to carefully consider how to deal with the fact that most parents need to work, even more so those who for whatever reason are raising kids alone (not a new phenomenon - many of my relatives in my grandparents’ and great-grandparents’ generations grew up in single parent homes after a parent died or abandoned the family, and at least one grew up in an orphanage with neither parent). For schools we have a clearer view of what worked in the recent past. More age-appropriate instruction (it’s as useless to teach 5 year olds to read as it is to teach 6 month olds to walk - a few might get it but the rest just won’t until they’re ready and in the meantime they missed spending time on what they should be learning at that age). More recess so kids can focus. More creative and engaging assignments. More teacher autonomy. Fewer screens, worksheets, and teaching to a test. More enforcement of rules and due dates. (You’re not doing kids any favors letting them put off work until later.)
Honestly, I wish I could go back and not let my kids anywhere near public schools. I definitely share some of the blame - somehow I should have made sure she had the right social skills to avoid bullying, and the confidence and values not to be vulnerable to indoctrination. But she never should have faced that at school, either. The world our kids live in is so much harsher than the one we grew up in, and the adults are sometimes as bad as the kids.